Christina Lavers

Chronic Illness

“Seven years ago, when I emerged from the doctor’s office after having my worst fears confirmed, I knew that I had some big decisions to make. With the words “most likely Multiple Sclerosis” reverberating around my mind I felt shaky and nauseous. I wanted to crawl into bed and drown in a deluge of tears and despair. This was not how I had envisaged my charmed life unfolding. I was with the love of my life and we had a nine month old baby; this was supposed to be the happily ever after part. That night lying in the bath I could feel my body throbbing with fear. My mind was busy fielding the images that surfaced and threatened to overtake me: the slow degeneration of my body, the social pity, and all the dreams that would now never be…” (From my article Five Things I learned from Having a Chronic Illness—read full article here)

Today, though I still have multiple sclerosis my life is rich and fulfilling. By working to not only accept my situation, but using it to increase my awareness and understanding of self, I have succeeded in rebuilding my life in a new way that is in alignment with my heart and soul.

Sensitivity

One of the side effects of developing Multiple Sclerosis was that I became increasingly sensitive. Though I have always been more of an introvert than an extrovert, shortly after developing multiple sclerosis I found myself struggling with issues like overwhelm in large groups, anxiety, and high sensitivity to energy and people in my environment. I felt as though the armour that had always protected me and allowed me to move easily through the world had fallen awayand I was left naked and vulnerable in a harsh world. However, in the same way that I came to view my illness as a huge growth opportunity, I also slowly came to understand that sensitivity was a gift as well. By amassing tools and knowledge that allowed me to successfully manage my personal energy-field, I learned to once again move comfortably through the world. What is even better is that now, because I have deeper awareness and connection, due to knowing how to access the positive aspects of sensitivity, my experience of life is richer.